What Does a Healthy Ego Look Like?
You may have read my previous post about the importance of developing a healthy ego, and thought “that all makes sense, but how do I know if I have a healthy ego?” So let’s take a look at five signs of a healthy ego:
1. Self-Care
Self-Care is a very broad term and it will look different for everyone, as we are all unique individuals. Self-care begins on the physical level and can gradually move to the emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. The more we take care of ourselves physically, the more energy and conscious attention we are able to dedicate toward exploring and understanding our inner experiences. The discoveries made throughout this process will inform how we support ourselves on these deeper levels. Basic self-care includes adequate and consistent sleep, healthy food habits, regular movement, purposeful work, and meaningful relationships.
2. Boundaries
Setting boundaries for ourselves is so important. Boundaries can be physical and/or psychological. Everyone has a fluctuating amount of energy, and it is up to us to consciously choose where, when, and how much energy we are going to allocate to a particular person, problem, feeling, situation, etc. There are energy giving activities/experiences and energy depleting activities/experiences. As we cultivate a heightened sense of awareness, we are better able to identify these experiences accordingly. Boundaries should be porous and designed to promote maximum energy and emotional abundance, while minimizing draining experiences. That being said, boundaries will fluctuate due to shifting circumstances and needs – the key is to cultivate a conscious awareness and always remain in the driver’s seat.
3. Service
Providing service or care to others without asking for, or expecting, something in return speaks to having unconditional regard for the self. It embodies the knowledge that our time and energy are worthy in and of themselves – their worth is not dictated by what we may or may not receive in return. It is very important to have an awareness of the intention behind the service. For example, service/care that is offered based on feelings of guilt/expectation, or based on a need for praise/recognition, does not indicate a healthy ego – however, it offers important clues about where there is work to be done.
4. Trust
Experiencing trust within relationships demonstrates a solid sense of self-worth. It also provides the foundation to explore oneself with minimal fear (the unknown always sparks some degree of fear – it’s part of our evolutionary human nature!), and lays the groundwork for the development of conscious and meaningful relationships. Trust also indicates that we are taking responsibility for our own emotions and experiences – a crucial part of leading an empowered life!
5. Quest
The quest for something greater, something more meaningful, the underlying and persistent sense that something is missing … The desire and willingness to confront and explore existential truths: death, isolation, freedom.
Sarah Amedoro, Psy.D.
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